


Mirrored Reflections

by Joxhaus



Category: Blank Dream (Video Game)
Genre: Anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, Character Death In Dream, Gen, Personal Growth, Recovered Memories, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-08
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2020-11-27 22:10:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20955716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joxhaus/pseuds/Joxhaus
Summary: A story inspired by "Blank Dream". If you had the option to live your life again... would you...? I would decline... and wish that I had never even existed. Start anew even, if it were possible... but, after my attempt at death, I am only greeted with an unusual world in a void... and an unusual mirror calling out to me. Telling me to remember my life... and to remember my wish.





	1. Trial of Limbo

* * *

How often can one think to themselves, "Is this life really worth it?" I'm sure there's many of us who might think that from time to time... but with how awful and degrading the human race can be, at some angles of perspective... even from the vantage point of a victim, it's hard to not think about similar questions. It's so easy to question the world around us, and the people we come into contact with.

As I've gone through the stages of life to a degree, I have had these thoughts early on, with a slow boiling hatred for life as we know it as well as for humanity. Realistically though, not much could probably be done to fix the flaws of humanity. The unfortunate truth of the matter though, is people die everyday. Whether they planned to or not...

Thinking back about everything that's happened so far, I feel as if I had a fairly average life. In some perspective, I might even go as far as to call it a "boring life". Sure... in some spots there was a bit of enjoyment there, but if we're being honest, I still hated my life. If I had the option to live my life over again, I would more than likely decline... I personally wish I could start anew, or not even exist at all. So I. Noah Leer Steele. Never finishing my college dream, threw myself off of a bridge into this lake. Spirit Lake... some referred to it as "Mirrored Lake". It only took a moment, to sink and to fall into that ever peaceful sleep... After that... everything was dark... even peaceful if anything. All of my life, my existence and my memories... now gone... or at least so I thought.

While I believed I was dead, I could hear a faint humming... maybe I was waking up in the afterlife or something? ... while that possibility is reasonable I'm not sure if that's the case.

I could feel some movement from my body as I started to open my eyes. I woke up in some unusual world... my head was throbbing as I awoke on a cold floor. My vision was a bit hazy, but looking around, there were no walls along the floor I was laying on. It was like this space of existence was just floating in a void. I cautiously got up from the floor and looked around.

Within that moment, I couldn't remember my name... I couldn't remember really anything at all about me. I didn't know where I was and I can't remember what happened before I got here... needless to say, I had a list of questions already stacked up in my mind. I noticed the room I was in had... some odd decorations scattered slightly along the floor... a bed, a desk, even T.V. sitting on a shelf with a gaming console sitting below the T.V. It was odd to see things like this just strewn about this empty place.

My head still felt a little fuzzy, but after looking around the only thing left that I saw in this limited space was a mirror. It was just floating there in the dark. It seemed like it was attached to a wall, but there was nothing there behind it. As soon as I got close to the mirror, I saw myself in the mirror... but... something was off about the reflection. It looked as if... it wasn't really me, but a doppelganger or something.

"Hey there, me!" my whole heart and body jolted at once as my suspicions were slightly confirmed as the reflection of myself just decided to speak.

"Who the hell are you!?" I sounded probably a little more aggressive than I should have been... but I was confused and rather light headed for a moment. The person in the mirror sounded way too outgoing for it to be me. At least, as far as I was aware.

"Sheesh, am I always this grouchy?" He responded, almost disgusted in his tone. "I get it though... you're confused and you don't remember who you are right?"

I was a little hesitant to respond. Part of me was hoping this was just some messed up dream and I just needed to wake up eventually... but in all honesty, the reflection was right. Although, it was a bit unsettling how this doppelganger knew that immediately.

"Yes... that's all true." I responded meekly. Still unsure about the whole situation I was in. My reflection gave a bit of a sadistic smile.

"I figured as much. I am a part of you after all..." He responded, keeping his positive tone, yet that last part of the line seemed a bit... off to me. I could only look around the void of space around me before looking back at the reflection.

"So, what does that mean, exactly?" I didn't have anywhere else to go. It was best if I stuck around to ask questions before trying to make any sudden plans.

"If it wasn't obvious, I am you. Well more specifically, I'm a part of you... The part of you who remained positive around just about everyone. Hiding your true nature behind the positive smile... Just so you know, you successfully killed yourself while holding onto a strong wish in your final moments of life. The power of your wish was so great, it created this world you're in. Now, all your past memories of who you are from your life are scatter around this world in mirrors such as this one before you." He spoke calmly. It was quite a lot of surreal information that I wasn't expecting to hear, but at the same time I'm not completely surprised.

"So... I died... with a wish of some sort... I can't say I remember making any wish..." I scratched at my head for a moment, pondering at what that could have been. My reflection then gave a friendly smile and put his hand on his side of the glass.

"If you'd like to remember, just touch the mirror. You'll be sent into your memories... but just finish yourself off once you get things figured out and remembered." He seemed exceptionally nonchalant in that entire moment. 'Finish yourself off?' that's probably the most morbid thing I've ever hear my own reflection tell me.

"Are... you serious?" I asked a bit hesitantly, getting closer to the mirror.

"Yeah...? I mean, you don't have to trust me... but think of it this way, it's just a memory you're entering. It won't be real by any means... so think of it as a dream! And all you have to do, is kill yourself in order to wake up. And in doing so, this mirror will be broken and you'll remember who you are." It was unsettling to hear myself saying that in a reflection of a mirror. I still believed he was just a doppelganger... but I didn't have any options.

"Well... alright then." I responded, as if I had any choice at the moment. I gave a hefty sigh before placing a hand onto the mirror... I wasn't sure what to expect but as soon as I touched the mirror, everything turned bright and I couldn't see. I had to shut my eyes just to prevent myself from being blinded by that light that soon enveloped my whole body.

It's hard to describe what the feeling of entering your own memories is like. Part of me hears loud and unusual noises of crumpling, crunching and rattling like sounds, as if the world around me and reality itself were breaking apart... or in this case, being created around me... but as everything calmed down, the light faded away and the sounds stopped I soon found myself standing in a familiar place. I found myself in my old room. The only main bedroom that I can remember... and probably the place I spent most of my life in.

"This seems... so odd... so familiar... and also real." I thought to myself for a moment.

I decided to look around. My door to the hall and the rest of the house was closed. I couldn't get it to move, even if I wanted to. I'd probably hurt myself trying to get it open. My bed was still the same, usually well kept and just messy enough to look like I just recently slept in it. My T.V. was just about as nice as a an only child could have... yet it couldn't work. The windows were all sealed shut and nothing was really visible outside. Aside from a little bit of green and trees. That and it was sunny... but maybe the dream is making the outside brighter than it needed to be... everything around the room seemed nostalgic... nerdy video game collectibles, and other random assorted things were around the room. I found one of my old favorite possessions in this memory too... I picked it up and looked at it for a moment. It was an orange star-like pendant.

"The Wayfinder..." I told myself. Memories were coming back to me, just as the reflection had said... I placed the Wayfinder in my pocket, but now I just needed to 'finish myself off'... and I, unfortunately, had just the trick... well several, if we want to be specific. There were plenty of loose wires and things that I could strangle myself with... but that wouldn't be very efficient here in my old room... actually now that I think about it, most of my options are not too suitable enough to get the job done. Only one option was open and easy to pull off. I had a large switch blade sitting on the desk next to where my Wayfinder was. I had sprung it open and checked the blade before doing anything with it. I had so many doubts and second guesses telling me that this is a bad idea... but this was normal in human nature... committing to an action like this was difficult... but not impossible.

"Still seems sharp and usable... Well... here goes nothing." I took a bit of an inhale and as I exhaled I quickly plunged the blade into my neck. With all the will power I had, my hands managed to get the entirety of the blade into my flesh. Within a few seconds, I could feel my throat and windpipe filling up with pain and blood quickly while struggling to breathe. I attempted to scream from the pain but couldn't... With the amount of oxygen and blood I've lost, my heart almost immediately went into cardiac arrest and I collapsed to the floor in a blood soaked puddle... it was painful... but it was effectively fast... I was dead in that moment.

As soon as the flash of life was extinguished, everything that I knew from that reality shattered. I could even hear the mirror breaking apart, almost as if it were next to my head. I couldn't move still, this feeling of fatal pain and suffering was still lingering in my mind and body but I could tell things broke apart and everything went dark. The pain wasn't the same, but it was still there, I could feel my body responding to the reality changing around me. I could even hear my heart rate still pumping blood through my body again. The numbness was also fading away ever so slowly and the rest of my senses were coming back to normal as well. As far as I could tell... I was back in the void, in front of a broken mirror... lying face-down like I was, prior to dying only a moment ago.

That moment was just a dream, but this was just the beginning of a cycle... one that I might end up regretting later on...


	2. Green Mistral (Part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Simple note, like I always do, I'll be checking on spelling and grammar errors after this chapter releases... because you know, God forbid if I reread my work half a dozen times and still find a mistake when I officially publish it. Also, I hope everyone is staying safe during this quarantine time. Take it easy and don't forget to stop and smell the roses. Enjoy

* * *

"The life of man (in a state of nature) is solitary, poor, nasty, brutish and short." - Thomas Hobbes

* * *

Sometimes when we're surrounded in darkness, we wonder if we're sleeping. Or are we consciously awake? Is death similar in that sense? If you die in your sleep? Do we believe we're dreaming then? Or is everything around us an unconscious lie?

Sometimes, it's difficult to have any ideas of what happens to us when we're dead. That fear of the unknown, of death, and what awaits beyond it... humanity is constantly trying to avoid its hidden truth.

As I started to get up slowly off the ground, prior to my traumatizing death dream, the world of void was slightly different around me from what I remembered prior to approaching the mirror. Even though my hands and arms were trembling a bit from what happened, there was no trace of a knife wound.

"So, how did it feel killing yourself in the mirror me?"

The mirror before me was shattered, but even so, that doppelganger still spoke through the mirror's remains.

"What the hell!? Is this some sort of sick joke? Is this seriously what I have to do to get my memories back?"

There was a small muffled laugh echoing throughout the void before getting back a response.

"Of course! And don't get pissy with me. I taught you how to get your memories back and you honestly shouldn't be surprised. You've already killed yourself once prior to coming to this world; doing it again is a fair trade off to remembering who you were."

I huffed quietly for a moment, regaining some form of composure. After calming down, the voice was right. I did remember a bit about myself...

"Huh... I'm... Noah Steele... I was 20 years old... and I forced myself to drown in that lake."

"See? It's partial but you did remember. Seems like you only remembered your name, age and how you died. So, look for the mirrors in this world and break them... each mirror you find in this world with your reflection will reflect certain parts of your memories. Since you know how to break them now... just go find them and finish yourself off in the mirrors."

I could hardly think to myself about this whole situation. My head and memories are really hazy but if what this voice said is really true... what else have I got to lose? I looked around and sighed; regardless I didn't have much of a choice.

"... Break the mirrors... well... okay then..."

"Yup, and you'll get your memories back... and at the same time you'll also grant your wish. Once all the mirrors are broken, you'll have it all back and you'll be able to realize and have your wish... that's how it will work here. And don't go around just looking... you do _have to_ break them. That's the only way your wish will be granted... and if you're wondering why? Well... just remember that part of yourself and this will be a lot easier. Anyway, good luck finding the mirrors."

With that, the voice was gone and it seemed like it was gone for good. I backed away from the broken mirror frame slowly before walking towards the newly present room before me... it looked similar to my old room...

"... I can't even remember why it came to that point... I probably had my reasons... but I still remember that strong wish... **'To make it so I had never existed'**."

Just as I had regained a piece of my memory... I feel like I had just lost something important... but for now, the task at hand was to look further into this world and to find the mirrors... In this empty-ish room, I noticed a door that seemed, fittingly out of place in the room... so I chose to investigate. Opening the door and entering through it, I had entered the middle of what felt like a giant hall... This void... or world or whatever it was, had multiple doors lined up all around the room. Some were connected by stairways or crosswalks that only had pits of darkness below them. In the middle, was a pretty nice rug and a giant set of stone double doors.

But much to my surprise, someone else was here with me. He seemed like a school student, uniform and all. He was a bit shorter to my own height and had brown hair. He seemed pretty excited to see a new face in this odd world.

"Oh! Uh, hey there! Are you new here? Guess I picked a good moment to bump into you."

My personal facial expression didn't seem too thrilled about meeting new people. Then again, I was an introvert at heart, so I was naturally quiet around people I didn't know.

"Uh... Riiiiiight... so who are you?"

"Oh, sorry I'm a bit too excited to finally see someone again. But you just came into this world, right? I bet you can't remember your name at the moment and it's fine if you don't. It's pretty common here."

I was silent for a moment, almost unintentionally giving him an awkward stare.

"Well... my name's Noah... nice to meet you."

"Well, that's awfully polite of... Wait? You know your name!? What the heck? That's so bizarre... I... don't really remember my name at all at the moment. Well... I guess that's not entirely true, my uniform has the initials 'A. H.' in them, so I guess it'll help me remember my name eventually. It's been a huge blank for me since I woke up in here and the sad thing is, I feel like I've been here before."

Wow, that kinda sucks to be honest. Not being able to remember who you are. I feel like amnesia can really be detrimental to the mental health of individuals... past life memories often share good moments and good feelings. Or vice versa. Forgetting everything about oneself can definitely leave many of us questioning what happened to us. I feel bad for this poor guy. I do wonder if he at least knows what this place is.

"I see... but where are we? It just seems like an odd world. Kinda like a void."

"Well... I don't know for sure, but in some mythologies, this place was known as a 'Mirror World'. It's a world for the souls with strong wishes or attachments end up. Kind of like an afterlife... or a limbo in between life and death... maybe... I can't really say much else. I just woke up here one day without a trace of any memory. I do remembering having a wish of some kind before I awoke here... but I can't really remember what that wish was for me... do you have any thoughts on this Noah?"

I scratched at my head for a moment. Is this guy for real? Has he not ran into a mirror telling him to kill himself to regain his memories...? Well, I guess some of us are luckier than others... in some ways. Some better than others. He doesn't even remember his wish either.

"Well... I do remember my wish to be honest. And how to grant it."

His eyes seemed to widen, almost as if he were in shock. "Wait, you know your wish AND you know how to grant it!? Seriously? Wow... this is not even fair at all. The world isn't fair even in death."

The boy sighed to himself, looking away for a moment as he regained some of his composure. "Well, if you're gonna walk around for a bit, just be careful. There's been some malicious spirits walking around here and I imagine they'll be jealous of a soul who can grant their own wish..."

I seemed to feel a little more comfortable talking to him by now and I relaxed myself for a moment. "Alright... I'll be careful..."

With that, he waved and took a seat by the giant stone door that nearly looked like an ornament attached to the wall. While I start walking around this oddly shaped hall standing in this void known as the Mirror World. There were several doors, some were goldenrod, some were a polished silver, or bronze doors. As I ventured around this massive space, most of the doors seemed locked... how inconvenient. After a while I approached the only unlocked door in this place. It was a wooden door and next to it was a sign that stated " ~ The Realm of Greenery ~ Let that meaning be a light of hope." Luckily, this was the only door that was unlocked in this strange world.

"... 'A light of hope' huh? We'll see about that."

I'm usually not one to provoke in a spirit world, but considering all that's happened, even this early on... I can't really seem to have 'hope' in anything. Entering through the door, I was greeted by a hallway. There were decorative axes, swords and shields on display before another door that was at the end of the hallway. Entering through the next door, I was surprised to see that I had entered what seemed like a mini garden of sorts. With a giant tree standing in the middle of the room. After getting closer to the tree... I could see that there was another hallway leading behind it... as if this tree was guarding the back room.

"Who had the time to plant a tree in the middle of this place...? And getting rid of something this massive won't be easy..."

I chose to venture to my left, where there was a bit of an off path. Another door was stationed in the middle of this path along another wall. Going through it I found a very narrow hallway... it was a bit darker than I would have liked but I walked along to my left... I reached a dead end and I stepped in something wet... which kind of looked like blood in the poor lighting of this hallway. At this dead end, was a sign that reads: "Our watchman is a fool... He can only tell by number but cannot tell the real one from a fake."

I looked at this quietly for a bit... I'm not sure what it meant at the moment so I made my way to the other end of the hallway past the door and noticed a large statue of a knight. It appeared to be looming over a box that was across from it. The box carried several axes... I soon realized that taking an ax immediately might be a bad thing... judging by the amount of blood on the other side of the hall... for now I quietly left the room and made my way back out to the actual greenery.

I had to wipe the blood off my shoes for a moment and sighed. It left a bit of a stain on some of the grass but it needed to be done... then again, even in death I get paranoid about being "clean" for the most part.

"Okay... I wonder if I can take an ax off that display in the other room...?"

I murmured a bit to myself... As I walked back to the exiting door, I heard a crow cawing behind me before flying away out of the big tree. With the amount of eerie silence that this room had... that damn bird nearly scared the shit out of me. I quickly made my way to the other room and took a deep breath.

The silence in the hallway seemed calming at first... at least while I removed a decorative ax from the wall and took it with me. As I walked away, a **loud** crashing noise was heard behind me. As if something fragile had just broken behind me. I turned to notice the shield that was next to the decorative axes was shattered. Pieces of it were laying on the ground. I had to get out of there, fast.

Leaving the hall, I returned to the greenery. Slamming the door behind me and taking a seat against the door. I was breathing heavily... almost having a bit of a panic attack... I was having a bit of anxiety and how could anyone not have anxiety from this situation? I was starting to shake a bit. Nerve-wracked and trying to keep myself together.

"I think... I think I'm gonna just sit here for a moment... I don't need to be in any rush."

I told myself that... while part of me was in a rush to regain my memories, my primal instincts told me to calm down. Being paranoid is one thing, but panic only leads to more problems. I held the ax with both hands as I attempted to regain my breathing for a moment. This ax was definitely light, but size wise, it's accurate to what those other axes look like.

While I took some time to relax, I looked around the greenery, it was calming for the most part but the eeriness came out of its unnatural lighting and the unsettling silence. To my left was the pathway that had the room with the watchman... in the very center, the giant tree in the middle of the room and to my right, another branching path, leading to a different door and what appears to be a much smaller tree just past it.

I think I might just know what to do next... but that will require me to get that real ax first...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a bit of a shorter chapter, for a few different reasons...:
> 
> \- Number 1, I really do need to pace myself in these stories. (For my own mental sanity)
> 
> \- Number 2, I tend to get burnt out if I'm hardcore writing on a story for so long... which is a current problem at the moment...
> 
> \- And finally, Blank Dream's areas and pacing is a lot bigger than you might think. So, I am sorry if it's not as long as some of my other chapters from the other stories.
> 
> Anyway, this story has been peaking my interest a bit, even if it is just a small fanfiction story about a small RPG horror game that very few people remember. I do want to make a pure original story that could eventually match the storytelling that Blank Dream has going for it. Dark, violent, disturbing, (maybe some taboo) and plenty of details.
> 
> Hope this one turned out okay... but for now this Nobody is signing off. Until next time.
> 
> Joxhaus

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to a new little story I've whipped up (out of like the 4 of 5 others stories I have in the woodwork in total at this time. Mainly, Conflicting Reality, Breath of Heart and two others secret projects aside from this one). If you got to the end, thank you for reading. I do appreciate it. Please take a moment to read my major note below regarding the story itself.
> 
> About the story:
> 
> This story is heavily based on the events in the game "Blank Dream", HOWEVER, PLEASE NOTE: This is NOT going to be a fanfiction that is exactly based on that game/story alone. I wanted to make a story using similar concepts that "Blank Dream" presented. Heavy senses of dread, surrealism, and just slightly unsettling enough to make things interesting. I wanted to try my hand at a horror(-ish) kind of story for once. I don't know how it will turn out in long term, but I really just needed to work on getting an outline made and working as I'm able to. Needless to say, this story might get a little "graphic" but you already know that by now hopefully. Just know that I might use some of the characters from "Blank Dream". I might include a reference here and there to other games as well as some of the characters to "Blank Dream", but we shall see as I work on it in my spare time.
> 
> Anyone who was familiar with "Blank Dream" might also remember "Witch's House" and "Mad Father".
> 
> Come to find out there are absolutely NO fanfictions on Fanfiction.net for "Blank Dream" and only ONE (last I checked) on Archive of Our Own. Which is kinda odd in my own personal opinion. Anyone who is a fan of Markiplier, may remember this indie title a while back when he played through it. Even going as far as saying it was even better than "Witch's House". A final note: this story is a work in progress unfortunately... please be patient with me and my college schedule. Please and thank you.
> 
> But yeah, I wanted to try my hand at something new... And I hope it turned out okay. ^_^
> 
> Thanks again for reading and until next time.


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